Search This Blog

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Worst of 2010

So far, I've seen 195 different films from 2010 (with a few more DVDs coming this month)... I've heard there were about 600 films released in 2010, so I've again seen roughly 1/3 of them!  Seeing as I'm going to be watching a lot fewer films this year, I figured I needed to make one last Worst of/Best of list since I've seen so many films...

I'm looking at the list of 2010 films I saw and the average rating I gave to all of them is 2.9 stars which makes me think I might over-rate movies, because 2010 didn't feel like all that great of a year.  The actual breakdown is as follows:

  • 5* - 0 films
  • 4.5* - 19
  • 4* - 37
  • 3.5* - 27
  • 3* - 28
  • 2.5* - 29
  • 2* - 13
  • 1.5* - 19
  • 1* - 16
  • 0.5* - 6
  • 0* - 1 "film"
Because I don't really feel like figuring out which 3 of the 16 1* films deserve to be on a Worst 10 list, I've decided to make it easier for myself and just make a Bottom 5 of 2010.  So, here's what sucked in 2010

"Honorable" Mention - N-Secure
Opening on fewer than 500 screens puts N-Secure in the #6 spot because I doubt many people have even heard of this movie, let alone seen it.  N-Secure describes itself as "a no holds-barred [sic], in your face, full on thrilling drama mixed with murder, mayhem and manipulation between men and women."  Really, it's just about Cordell Moore (David Alan Washington) who's an insecure, jealous prick.  The writing, editing and direction are all awful.  For example, early on Cordell reprimands his fiancĂ©e for coming home late: "You said you'd be home at 8 o'clock. It's now 8:03. You know it takes 27 minutes to get home from [work]. You should have left at 7:33, not 7:36. My father always said, when people disrespect your time, they disrespect you."  When this relationship crumbles, he later gives his new girlfriend a Ten Commandments of dating, rules she must obey if she wanted to continue dating him.  There are subplots involving other relationships, there are a few murders, it's all pretty ridiculous.

#5 - The Spy Next Door
Jackie Chan plays a spy undercover in suburbia who has the hots for his divorced neighbor.  In an effort to get closer to her, he offers to babysit her kids and hijinks ensue.  Chan is usually enjoyable to watch, and some of the fight scenes were decent, but the story is just ridiculous—character motivations change from scene to scene.  The acting is pretty horrible across the board, and seeing as how Chan has been in at least 20 English films, he really should try to learn how to speak it.  I mean, seriously... his accent is nearly impossible to understand at times!  But at least this film didn't have a duck...

#4 - You Again
So someone in Hollywood actually thought it'd be a good idea to take the beautiful Kristen Bell and make her wear ant bites for half the movie and zits the other half?!  For a "comedy" there were surprisingly few laughs in this story about multi-generational high school rivalries... Even the hilarious Betty White couldn't save this crappy rom-com.

#3 - Our Family Wedding
Another BRILLIANT Hollywood idea—"Wouldn't it be funny if a black guy got engaged to a Mexican?"  I'll be the first to agree with Avenue Q's "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist," but this movie relies on that inherent racism in all of us for most of its "comedy."  The film is filled with highly unbelievable characters with even less believable scenes (should I mention the goat at the wedding who ate several Viagra pills?).

#2 - Marmaduke

Another "comedy" makes my worst of 2010 list—this one based on a Sunday one-panel cartoon.  As obvious as it sounds to build a film around a comic strip that survives on the "joke" that this dog is larger than he realizes, the film is surprisingly bad.  It nearly earned 0 stars, however was saved by one joke that literally made me LOL in an empty theater (as the dogs were partying, one of them, atop the roof, yelled "I am a golden dog!") which is no small feat.  Still, in the end when all the CGI dogs started line dancing together, I nearly vomited in terror. 

And the worst film of 2010 (IMO).......


#1 - Skyline

Wow... this film was horrible... It started out fairly average but got progressively worse and worse.  The film starts with some sort of alien invasion and then jumps back to "20 hours earlier" (or some time frame).  We meet a bunch of 20-somethings in LA who party until it's time to fight for survival.  Looking at these aliens gives you a pretty bad sunburn (or something), but eventually they main characters meet other survivors and all try to head for the pier (or somewhere).  Pretty much every exit is blocked by more aliens while the survivors slowly die one by one.  In the end... well, I don't really remember exactly what happens because I was literally checking my watch every few minutes.  I do recall a pathetic attempt to set up a sequel—I just hope the mediocre box office ($21.3 million for a $10 million budget) doesn't warrant one... Although, if it does... well I recommend staring directly into the sun instead of watching it.


Think you saw something worse in 2010?  Let me know.  Did you see any of these and think they were better than I did?  Leave a comment below!

2 comments:

  1. Glad I didn't see any of those. They sound horrible. Why don't you give any movies 5*? Don't movies like "The Shawshank Redemption" or "Schindler's List" make that cut?

    ReplyDelete
  2. My general rule of thumb is that a film can never earn 5* on my first viewing... I don't want to inflate the rating based on a great initial watch (I feel IMDb's Top 250 list has way too many films from the past decade because of a similar over-inflation)

    I did see a few movies more than once, but usually I never had time to watch new releases multiple times so a lot of 4.5* films...

    I do have a list of 5* movies... There are actually 73 currently (I'm Agrajag on this message board) and BOTH films you suggest actually make the cut!

    http://filmwise.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=3807&start=27

    Thanks for the comment! Hope you like the blog!

    ReplyDelete